I LOVE BOOZE
BOOZE LOVES ME
HOLY SHIT I HAVE TO PEE
I’M SO SMASHED I’M FALLING ON THE FLOOR
i will remember this picture until the next time i get drunk
At my school there’s a rule that only one student can be out of class at a time with a hall pass, but today in math a bunch of people forgot their graphing calculators so my math teacher yelled, “EVERYBODY, GO. RUN. THEY CAN’T CATCHH ALL OF YOU.”
I Was Trying To Be Funny But It Came Out as Really Mean: A 5-part documentary starring me.
I Was Trying To Be Loving And Supportive But I Probably Overstepped My Boundaries And Came Off as Creepy: a feature-length film with two sequels and a TV series adaption.
I Was Trying To Tell You I Relate To Your Difficult Situation But It Probably Sounded Like I Was Making It All About Me: a novel saga with several side book adaptions and a movie.
Oh, I Thought You Were Someone Else: an autobiography with a Lifetime Movie adaption.
did u try unplugging the government and plugging it back in
what about blowing into it
Monica Lewinsky got into a lot of trouble for that
my brain has too many tabs open
Most accurate thing ever
I can’t find the one that is playing that fucking song
I’ve got 99 problems and I’m not dealing with any of them
Said the U.S. Government.
every single person who reblogs this
will get “doot doot” in their ask box
I WANT TO KNOW YOUR SECRETSERIOUSLY THOUGH WHAT ARE YOU
I GOT THIS AND I WAS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK
there are over 128,000 notes and i still got one
i reblogged this less than 2 minutes ago
how the actual fuck
do not question
Mittens the Texting Cat [via]
I love how the whole harry potter fandom just calls harry an idiot for naming his kid albus severus and says ginny should’ve named the kids so they would survive childhood
like you do realize this is the girl who named an owl pigwidgeon right